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Meet
The Band
The News was formed during 2005
consisting of Alphonse Spall, Mark Williams, Eric Williams and Paul Palladini.
Click on the Pic!
 Alphonse
Spall
Once upon a time, a few years after D-day, Alphonse Spall (a.k.a James
Castrato, in real life Jimmy the Cat) was found drunk as a skunk and
struggling for the notes of a tuneless and unrecognisable version of
Fernando in a local karaoke competition (first prize was £20).
Into the racket stumbled the three shady band members Mark, Paul and
Eric dropping in for a nightcap before returning home to the open arms of
their blow-up boom-boom Betties. Through the din Mark said, "hey
lads, you know we're looking for a singer?... any bloody
singer!?". "Well we dinna have much luck from the audition with
that Stephen Hawking" Eric said. "Or that guy with the tracheotomy"
shouted Paul. And as they looked across at an intoxicated
hiccuping Alphonse a light bulb flickered dimly above their heads.
A few rounds of Jack and a couple of lies later and Alphonse was hired.
Some months. much practice, and four noise related ASBO's later - things
went from bad to worse.
As a direct result of taking weekends off from his job as a kitchen
porter (only in the best Shrewsbury hotel though!), Alphonse was fired.
Broke and tired needing to feed his eleven children and his goldfish
George, and convinced he was indeed a star (and that the mirror and
speakers were lying), Alphonse demanded payment for his vocal "talents".
He wanted at least £10 for each performance. Mark, Paul and Eric
looked at each other and laughed hysterically, "for f#%k's sake, at
least learn to sing first!" Uproar ensued.
Hurt and dejected with his tail between his legs, Alphonse returned to
his native Montenegro in order to spend contemplative time with his
mentor and life long cellmate, Leonardo Cohen (Mr Miagi was unavailable
I believe - ed). Leonardo, a Jewish manic depressive of some note makes
a very nice living giving yoga lessons to fellow mani(a)cs (his former
panty liner business failed to take off). Enthused with a new
found self confidence and vision (and a cheeky little beard) presumably
gained from now being able to touch his ears with his feet, Alphonse
returned to Shrewsbury intent on world domination (or failing that a new
kitchen porter job). he strolled up to his former band mates and
said "Hey, I'm your man for the future, I know aboot songs of love and
hate".
A compromise was reached - £7 a night - everybody's happy. |
 Mark
Mark, or "Cousin It", as he was sometimes called by a former band mate
due to his ability to sprout and retain head hair, is the band's skilled
purveyor of riffs, leads, killer rhythms, fret tapping, feedback and wah-wahing, all enhanced by an array of effects pedals. Along with
a regular posse of drooling guitar pupils you'll wonder how a single
lead guitar can fill out a song so much!
Mark is no stranger to performing live having played in bands since the
age of 15. As a teenager he played in Citadel in
accompanied by "Baz" on bass
guitar.
Later on, local band-watchers will recall Stormchild and Sanction, with
drummer Micky Owens (Metal Micky), in which Mark supported the Tom Robinson Band, Hawkwind and New Model Army. Subsequent bands included Loaded Dice
and from 1986 to 1992 Misdemena that eventually evolved into the early Stagefright
that played in the Shrewsbury area for many years before breaking up in
2004.
Mark and Paul set about forming a new band and after a few months were
rehearsing with Alphonse and Eric - and The News was formed.
Apart from playing a mean guitar with The News Mark is also a full
time professional guitar teacher. |
 Paul
Paul "I didn't get anywhere but I had a great time getting there" Palladini was a professional drummer at 18 but is too modest to mention
the many bands he's played with over the years throughout Europe.
Though the fact that he once found himself waking up in a garlic field
somewhere in France suggests that poor recollection may account for
his inability to name Names.
However, Paul would like to thank very much the excellent bands that he's had the privilege of playing with over the years - whoever
they were.
He revels in long drum finales following which the older members of the
audience might have forgotten which number they were listening to.
Paul is a connoisseur of classic wines and fine drums as you'll see when
you behold his beautiful DW kit! |
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 Eric
Eric has been in and out of
more bands than Alphonse has had hot tortillas.
Starting off as a vocalist he joined The Breed in the late seventies;
first gig was at Tern Hill army camp that went down like a desert storm.
His first meeting with Mark "yes, I do use all those pedals" Williams,
was when he became a member of Sanction after accidentally sacking their
bass playing vocalist by phone.
After his stint there he was in
and out of Shropshire bands Justice, Krack on Daft, Bucket
for the Drummer - and pubs like The Yorkshire House, Loggers, Nags head etc.
The singing career ended after just two gigs with R&B band Sandy Beach
and the Deck Chairs involving a room of mirrors and a fuzz box.
In jazz blues trad' combo Moscow Underground in 1995 he played bass for
the first time. After various Indie Rock bands, ending with Addictive
Nature, he retired from playing in 2003; only to become a member of The
News last year.
This was after he was stalked by "Stiff" Palladini because he needed
somebody in the band who was almost as loud as he was! |
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